I walk alone.

Among people I walk alone,

Beside someone I walk alone,

With cheers and screams I walk alone.


But I know when I look up by the end of this lone walk.

There is you.

it means something

dont remember when was the last time i almost cried in my dream....

but as always i dont remember that dream...

all i remember was that i woke up because my face was twisting and i felt something in my throat....just like when ppl starts to cry.....


but there was no tear.....




crying in your dream is better....you dont get everything wet and you dont get the red eyes afterwards....

dot dot dot dot dot dot dot

Monday, bloody monday.

was supposed to start working on the book today. it didnt work at home. no concentration. carried my laptop to the libery. still didnt work.

Sat on fb talking to ppl, trying to solve their problems like i was getting paid. Only because i dont want to think about what is happening to me.

I am confussed. Maybe i have to make a choice too. Maybe that's the best way. Maybe only then she doesnt need to be sad....

Maybe i should....even everything single bone in my body is saying no....

Speechless

when you are speechless you can always listen to songs....

That's life, that's what all the people say.
You're riding high in April,
Shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune,
When I'm back on top, back on top in June.

I said that's life, and as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks,
Stompin' on a dream
But I don't let it, let it get me down,
'Cause this fine ol' world it keeps spinning around

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn and a king.
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself, flat on my face,
I pick myself up and get back in the race.

That's life
I tell ya, I can't deny it,
I thought of quitting baby,
But my heart just ain't gonna buy it.
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try,
I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn and a king.
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself laying flat on my face,
I just pick myself up and get back in the race

That's life
That's life and I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cutting out
But my heart won't buy it
But if there's nothing shakin' come this here july
I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball and die

ICE

There was 9 months in shanghai.

And now i am back in Stockholm

maybe i should write about that 9 months, but that will just be a piece of useless junk that not even i want to read about.

because what happened could not just simply be written in words

because what happened was you.



being back is strange. i guess that has something to do with how i felt before i came back. it was somewhere between "oh i wish i was there 6 months ago already" and "maybe i should just stay here, leave everything behind so i dont need to face all the problems". and when you are stuck in between 2 very opposite kind of feelings about something, you just dont know what to feel anymore.


sweden is different for me now this time around. I feel free, even with all the responsibilities that i have to take. and i was happy when i landed. cuz i was thinking about you and my friends that i havent seen in a long time. I missed you, and i missed them a lot.

maybe i was too hopeful on too many things, then soon i realized that maybe i was too happy, maybe being back isnt just that simple, to do something that you and me planned to do, and i will get on with everything that i need to do. the shock just hit me, and i guess it is just a part of the process.


hell, i am back. And i am here now so nothing can stop me.






I just wish that there was nothing stopping you either.

Back to life

I have been feeling good.
Really good.
I havent felt like this in such a long time.

Life hasnt been as simple as it is right now.
And finally I see the bright light in front of me.

And at the same time, I met you. That wonderful little creature who gives me the tinkle in my heart.



Good things come with the summer. I believe in that. So should you.

and when you see that smile on my face, I can assure you that it is real.

It only takes a little thing

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